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Episode Five: Get that Light Out of My Eyes
by Marc S.A. Glasgow, aka The CyberPoet®
Dated Picture of the Author.

When You're Wanted
"A boy named Cupid is being sought by the Police for questioning in mettling in other's affairs. " 
Got It Up Too Much?
If your headlights need to be reaimed because you're blinding other driver's, here's the easy way to do it. Find a piece of road surface that is flat and straight (and free of traffic!), then stop the car with the driver's side wheels on the center line. Walk about 120 feet out from the car and place a coke can or soda bottle directly in line with the passenger side wheels, then place another can in line with the center of the car. Aim the driver's side headlight onto the soda can in the center, and the passenger one onto the soda can on it's side. Because of the way the light spreads, this is the ideal light pattern to see where you're driving without blinding oncoming traffic.
Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Milk for Free?
If you rent your home (apartment, condo or house), you can get renter's insurance fairly cheaply though various insurance companies, including Allstate. Unlike home owner's, which covers the building, renter's insurance covers only the contents and damages that you're responsible for (waterbed bursting for example). It does cover anything you own in the home and any vehicles parked there -- so vandalism or car theft would fall under the policy when parked at home and not raise your auto insurance rates. Estimated costs: $180 annual for a 1400 square foot 2 bedroom place in Tampa.
He was Contractually Obligated to Do It
Although much of our legal code is written in legalese, there is no need for it according to various lawyers and judges. When writing contracts, write them in plain English that is easily understandable and use logical constructions using the words and, or, nor and not. Just be thorough and think of all eventualities.
She Stimulated All My Best Points
When shopping for a home, car or other loan, remember that a 'point' is the same as one percent of the loan value paid upfront instead of as a percentage rate. So, a $100 one-year loan at 7% is the same as a $100 one-year loan at 5% with two points, except that that two extra percent must be paid up front.  
Immoral Endeavors
Considering bankruptcy? Better get in quick, as the laws concerning bankruptcy are changing in the near future to make it more difficult to file. If you are pursuing complete debt wipe-out, you can include any private unsecured debts (credit cards, credit lines), car and home loans if the car/house has been repo'd and unpaid taxes over 5 years past-due. What you can't wipe includes: secured debts (car, home loans on non-repossed items), student loans, taxes due for the last 5 years and generally other debts to the government. It costs about $800 to file for bankruptcy, which makes no sense to me... 
It Was So Big!
The next time you go looking for memory, take the largest chips you can manage. Example - instead of buying four 16 Megabyte chips total 64 Mbs, buy two 32Mb's instead, so you can add more memory later. 
NOTE: Different computers require different combinations of matching chips -- some not at all, some matching pairs and some matching sets of four. Make sure you get what your computer requires.
She Got Me So Steamed
When you vacuum your carpets, about a third of the dirt is actually pushed downward to the bottom of the carpet instead of being sucked up. Either way, the carpet looks clean, because the top of the carpet is clear of dirt. If you want your carpets to stay clean (or need to get odors out), rent a steam cleaner from a hardware store every four months. Cheapest price in town I've found: $12.99 a day from Ace Hardware on 56th Street for the mondo-superpowered professional type.
The Secret of Being Well Hung
When you go to hang something from the ceiling, such as a bicycle, speakers, ceiling fan, et cetera, you need to take into consideration what kind of ceiling you have. If you have poured concrete ceilings (common in Florida), they can hold up to a thousand pounds per hanger, provided you get inverted expansion systems, used to hang pipes on the underside of parking garages (wholesale plumbing stores, some Ace Hardware stores). If you don't have a poured concrete ceiling, the weight limit is closer to 40 lbs (big difference), and you need to insure that you either hit a joist (a wooden beam above the dry wall supporting it) or get a joist hanger that cross in-between two joists to support the load (like for ceiling fans). Either way, drywall and concrete both contain lime, which is very bad for the skin and dangerous for the lungs -- when drilling, use protective eye wear and a particle mask (or at least a bandana). 
Just Can't Get Off?
When changing any metal-on-metal screw-in items (lug nuts on the wheels, spark plugs, etc.) apply a thin layer of non-seize compound on the threads to make sure that you can get it off next time. Non-seize compound is available at any auto-parts store and is heat tolerant for use on engines.
 
Tune in next time for more Infinite WizDom from The CyberPoet®
Copyrighted Material.
© 2000,  Marc S.A. Glasgow, aka The CyberPoet® 
All rights reserved under U.S. and international law.

Marc Glasgow is a Macintosh Consultant serving the Tampa Bay area since 1990.
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